good news!

well I did not see that coming, but I experienced a FIRST last week.  for the first time since diagnosis one year ago, I received GOOD news regarding my rheumatoid arthritis.  this kind of thing only happens in fairy tales!  so you could say I'm pretty much feeling like a Disney princess right now.

I went in for a regular check up with Dr. J, and he did is his regular check up moves, and I couldn't help but notice the lack of pain where there is usually lots of it.  then Dr. J casually slipped "I think we've done it" into the conversation.  say what?  back that truck up, Dr. J.  

I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say the conversation was a happy and hopeful one.  we need blood work to confirm, but it's looking like we've showed RA who is boss.  and it's me.  well, mostly Dr. J, but also a little me because I'm the one who has to take all the pills and all the shots.  and while I'll never be free of RA, I sure do look forward to the day when it's an afterthought, not a dominating, debilitating, and defining presence in my life.

so now all I have to say is YAHOOOO!

if this disease has taught me anything, it's that the unexpected and disappointing can always be right around the corner, so I haven't started planning a remission party quite yet.  but more importantly, God's  faithfulness, sovereignty, and provision have been so evident in my life as I stumble along this path before me.  even when I'm not looking for Him, he's there.  what a comfort, what a joy.  and more than anything, I will celebrate this gift of good news that HE has given me.

// the over-use of caps lock and exclamation points in this post will not be apologized for.  

anniversary

I've always been one who enjoys anniversaries. Who doesn't love a reason to celebrate? Of course I was that over zealous girlfriend who pointed out the mark of every month John and I had been together - happy 51 month anniversary, honey!

But today marks the one year anniversary of my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis, and I am not reaching for the champagne or planning a special night out. This anniversary is not something I feel even the slightest inclination to celebrate. RA hasn't done anything in the past year to make me feel lovey dovey. In fact, I'm still very angry at this disease that has become my lifelong companion.

So while I may not be picking up a greeting card while I'm out today, I am pausing to reflect. And that reflection has led to more feelings of gratitude than I expected. Instead to falling into a bitter rut that, I have to admit, I often feel very justified in, I am reminded of God's faithfulness and provision through it all.

This is not an easy road, but we were never promised easy. What I've come to realize in this past year is that I have a choice: I can be a whining, negative person whose favorite pastime is to complain about this plight I've been given to endure, or I can use this platform I've been given to be a light and I can rest assured that I do not walk alone.

I have been promised a plan that God Himself has ordained. How absolutely amazing is that? And yes, RA is part of it, as crazy as that seems to me some (most) days. This was not a fluke, an accident, a cruel joke. He knows the plans He has for me, and those plans involve hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). My heart is pounding as I read that passage again. What comfort! What a gift! What a challenge to rest in that even in times of struggle.

So here's to the next year, you crazy disease. I have high hopes for finding a medication regimen that makes you an afterthought and for finally making Dr. J laugh at one of my jokes.