just spit-balling here, but I've been thinking a lot about disappointment recently.  having experienced a lot of said emotion these days, it's really been heavy on my heart, and I've been wrestling with how to approach it, acknowledge it, and work through it in a healthy way.

truth is, disappointment is all around us.  we can't escape it, so that sucks.  I've been disappointed with my health and lack of physical strength,  in my willpower and self-control, and in the way I've been treated by friends, family, colleagues, just to name a few areas of constant struggle for me.

but there is one Who has never disappointed me.  not even once.  not even for a second.  I haven't even felt tempted to be disappointed in Him.  I'm sure the use of capital letters has already made it clear that I'm talking about my God.

another truth for ya: this world is not our home.  we weren't created to get all comfortable here on earth and focus on how to make this a place where we can get settled.  we are created with a longing for something so much better.  there are times where this truth is really easy for me to embrace, and I'm deep in one of those times right now.  I'm pretty much over the crap that this earth and my sin has dealt out.  I'm ready to scream "Come soon, Lord Jesus!" at the top of my lungs and be really ecstatic when the clouds open up and His kingdom is brought here on earth as it is in heaven.  Come soon, Lord Jesus!

but then there are times when I cling to this world and all I have going on in it with white knuckles.  this is what I live for and this is what gives me joy and purpose.  this stuff here on earth.  this little kingdom I've created for myself.  yeah, I could get really comfortable here.

a constant strain and a constant push and pull internally.  how quickly my focus gets derailed by my sinful nature, and all I care about is possessions and popularity and accomplishments and what I can get from relationships.

my prayer is for tunnel vision.  Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, Lord Jesus.  come soon.