serious disease progression

went to see my rheumotologist, Dr. J., this week for a regular check up.  I was feeling pretty confident, even cocky, as I walked into the office.  I have been feeling really great the past month or so, experiencing only mild morning stiffness that loosens up within minutes and then a little hand pain during the day if I've been doing a lot of writing or carrying heavy objects (grocery shopping, lifting weights, etc.) and foot pain if I push too hard at the gym.  it's all taken care of with a single Tylenol or my regular daily dose of Celebrex.  I was ready to hear Dr. J. say "we've done it.  we've stopped the progression and you're set with this medication regime for the rest of your life."  then we would high-five.

this dream appointment that I had played out in my head was actually quite naive.  I may be relatively pain free, but every single day I'm aware of the purple/red color of my larger than life knuckles, especially if I eat some processed food, which we all know I do (see the post on my paleo fail) or, like I've already mentioned before, pushed my hands or feet to their limits.  so, there was no high-fiving with Dr. J.  he made it clear that I still have "serious disease progression" and deformities in my hands and feet.  in his very to-the-point way, Dr. J. encouraged me to look at the big picture, not just the small picture - which is me getting along very well, but only because of good pain management.  just because my pain is managed does not mean that my RA is managed.  welcome back to reality, Julie.

so, there's going to be some medication changes.  I've been put on Leflunomide in addition to the Methrotrexate, both medications are meant to stunt and stop the progression of rheumatoid arthritis.  beginning October 1st I will cut my Celebrex (pain medication) in half, because it's masking the RA symptoms and we need to see if I can get along without it.  regular blood tests and x-rays will continue in order to measure the antibody levels in my blood and inflammation/deformities/etc. in my joints.  hopefully by my next date with Dr. J. there will be plenty to high-five about.

---  the very thought of that is just hilarious to me.  John can attest, Dr. J. is a straight-faced, get down to business, no time for tomfoolery kind of guy.  I have cracked some of my best nervous jokes in his presence and barely got half a chuckle.  so a high-five is probably not in our future, but a girl can dream.

I love my Dr. J. and am so grateful for his knowledge and his desire to see me live my best life in the midst of this disease.  ...even if he doesn't laugh at my jokes.